Are you feeling manipulated, much? Check this out…
Hope is passion for what is possible.
[suh–ren-der] Show IPA
verb (used with object)
- to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
- to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
- to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life ofhardship.
- to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
- to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.
verb (used without object)
- to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.
- the act or an instance of surrendering.
- Insurance. the voluntary abandonment of a life-insurance policy by the owner for any of its nonforfeiture values.
- the deed by which a legal surrendering is made.
1425–75; (v.) late Middle English surrendren < Anglo-French surrender, Old French surrendre to give up,equivalent to sur- sur-1 + rendre to render; (noun) < Anglo-French; Old French surrendre, noun use of theinfinitive
What do hope, passion and surrender have in common? Why, the lowly yet lovely Passion Flower and fruit, of course! This blog began with a “Maypop” flower, and over the course of the past two years I’ve watched my own vine grow, flower, and finally fruit this year. My ‘homestead’ yard has begun to function and have the look of a true food forest, and the only items I now purchase from the store on a regular basis are coffee, milk (non-dairy), gluten-free flour, and cat food. Oh, and wine—thus, my trips to the store are often punctuated by wry commentary on my ‘food’ choices…which, of course, I have to engage the cashier in conversation about my garden, because who wants to make the ‘crazy cat lady’ thing that obvious, really?
What about ‘surrender’, you ask? That’s a wee bit more complex, and may I draw your attention to the first words of the definition above: “to yield” and “to give”. In permaculture we often speak in terms of yield—only it’s usually the outcome kind—here is an opportunity to explore the other kind of yield—the kind which could feel like ‘submit’ if not taken in proper context. A couple of scenarios to illustrate:
- Bully at school accosts you to forfeit your lunch money—
o You surrender the money, and either go hungry or rely upon the kind
ness of strangers to feed you; or
o You refuse, he beats you up, and takes the money anyway; or
o You run, fast, to the principle’s office, in hopes of discouraging further graft.
o Hunger, perhaps a new friend or two, certainly a little wisdom.
o A black eye.
o School reputation as a ‘tattle-tale’, perhaps a spot on the track team.
So, what’s the point I’m trying to make here? Maybe there is none, maybe this is just a rambling rant designed to clear my own head and it has absolutely no bearing on anyone else. Or, perhaps I am still poking a stick at the concept of ‘surrender’, because, see—here’s the rub: all of my spiritual friends will tell you that surrender is the way to peace, and they could be right—I mean, it’s certainly not very peaceful to allow a 2 ton machine to run over your body as it lies prone in the way of something deemed ‘progress’ by the dominant culture. And yet, it’s no more peaceful to comply with rules which simply no longer make sense—ones that do more harm than good.
Here’s where I’m going to break in and interrupt my own musings, in order to shed some light on what brought me to here: my dentist. More specifically—the situation which took me to my dentist, which by the time I got there had me convinced I had a brain tumor, or something else equally as unpleasant. I love my dentist, even if I can’t pronounce her first name—she said: “Good news!” and gave me high dose Ibuprofen, muscle relaxers, and a mouth guard. Apparently, the stress of avoiding a ‘battle’ and attempting to comply had led me to grinding my teeth with a vengeance while I slept.
See, sometimes when we ‘try’ not to fight, we’re still fighting—we just hide it under the veil of our dream life.
So, I let go—it took about a week, but I slowly relinquished the grip I had on what ‘must be’, and took down the bloody Warka that had the county code enforcement officer, zoning director, engineering department, and god-only-knows who else in apparent chaos. It just.wasn’t.worth.the.stress. It needs a new home, my lily warka—I’m not giving up on the concept, because it is a good one—but, perhaps this slightly above-per-capita-average-income county is not quite ready for such innovations. Yet.
For now, I am taking the advice of some very evolved people:
“Don’t give your energy, time, & attention to anyone with a clear investment in drama, victimhood & negativity. Be an atmosphere that evokes transformation & healing. Stop trying to “change” people who have taken out a mortgage in misery. The best way to impact change is by the example of our living. Meet people where they are, not where you are…and know that where they are is perfect on their unique path, and know that this does not make you better, special or greater than them or where they are with themselves…different not better. No one escapes the work that their soul came to do, so no need to police & judge. See them as Whole, separate the behavior from the Being and be clear we live in a Universe of Love, Perfect Order, & Harmony…surrender will restore harmony to chaos. Trust the Process and do not be fooled by appearances. See beyond circumstance and condition…let people BE. Stop trying to “rescue” people. Saving people is a conversation of your E.G.O…Save your self. Empower those that are open to your support and keep strong boundaries from toxic energy.
Be compassionate and exercise discernment with people…trust and yet still be wise. Serve people, don’t fix them, they are not broken…simply they have fallen asleep…you can’t want for another more than they want for themselves. Be the best you, that is the greatest gift you can offer the world.” ~Judah Isvaran
Read the Permaculture Principles Series:
- Observe and Interact
- Catch and Store Energy
- Obtain a Yield
- Apply Self-Regulation and Accept Feedback
- Use and value renewable resources and services
- Produce no waste
- Design from patterns to details
- Integrate rather than segregate
- Use small and slow solutions
- Use and value diversity
- Use edges and value the marginal
- Creatively use and respond to change
© Loretta Buckner, 2014, We Grow From Here
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